Random thoughts

No Agenda Days

2010-11-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever experienced a phase in life when you are in a complete "wait" state; a point you are just waiting for others to take decisions that will shape your life? Yes life moulding decisions. Mind you its not that nothings in your hands, indeed you have given others the very power to play their cards by playing yours. But having played yours, you are in a wait state. For lack of a better phrase I decided to call them the "No agenda days".

From time to time we do wait for things, for exam results, for job interviews, visa decisions..., but when both your professional and your personal life goes into a "wait state", you are left just by yourself. I realised I do not have a creative hobby, powerful enough to carry me at such times. I love reading books, but in a distracted state, its difficult to afford a book the seriousness it deserves. Tomorrow I am planning to return to my guitar, though I wish I had started my lessons earlier and done at least six months instead of the three weeks I was able to.

But the wait may just be over, time when things would fall into or to pieces. Tommorrow may just be the day of reckoning...

P.S. Everytime life has denied me something I really wanted, it has pretty soon given me an equally good alternate. An alternate the world seeks while it keeps alluding the seekers landing in my lap while I never expected it am trying to recover from my loss. I already see the alternates on the horizon, could it be the omen again?

Main shayyar tau nahin (Poeticaly, Though a poet I am not :)

2010-10-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

Though a poet I am not, my muse leads me on:) heres the first inspiration :)

I thought I loved freedom,

Freedom to be;

And yet I bowed down to the greatest addiction,

That true friendship tends to be;

Like a drug, companianship gives me a high,

Gives me reason to be;

You may never know what,

Your companianship has meant to me;

Chaos does lead to a stable equilibrium !

2010-02-08T08:20:00.000-08:00

The urge to write has returned. The strange experiment that life flung me in, the way it transformed me, had to write about it. Taken all of two years to realise this, but now I know that Chaos does lead to a stronger equilibrium. The law holds true in life too, as much as it does in the scientific realm......

Will greater chaos lead to a stable equilibrium?

2008-02-25T11:09:00.000-08:00

When things go wrong they have a habit of going haywire. Or maybe across the multi faceted chaos in ones life, there is one binding force, one unifying idea, one philosophy, one person that keeps things together. When that idea loses its meaning, the person seizes to exist, the unifying cement is gone. Total chaos ensues. Seemingly settled demons start showing their head.

The little science that I have studied tells me that chaos is natural, a necessary pre-cursor for any equilibrium. The greater the chaos, the more stable equilibrium it will lead to (whenever that happens). It just dawned on me that the same principle works in life too. The more distressed you are, the more focused you probably will be when you have weathered the storm. And chaos itself holds great energy. The urge to reach equilibrium is so strong, if only somehow one can manage to channel that energy into any direction, a lot can be achieved. Trouble is to determine what you really want. Trouble is to determine what you ultimately want out of life (apart from transitory successes). The moment you are sure what you want, it will result in the channeling of that enormous energy towards the desired goal and this release will result in peace. Like all hypothesis, empirical evidence will come in a while, when I have experienced the release myself. Though beyond personal life, history of nations hold ample examples. the longer and deadlier a conflict, the more lasting the peace that ensues, whether it be the 30 year old European war or world war II. But I guess any student of history will rip the use of this evidence apart, citing a million other more relevant causes. Guess we will wait for empirical confirmation to see if it works in human life:)

Reason finally prevails :)

2007-12-05T18:50:00.000-08:00

As was probably obvious I was going through a rough patch. The predicament lasted for a while, but I am finally over it :)

It was tough while I was going through it, couldn't get the damn thing outta my mind for even a second for even like 10 days. It was a dilemma whether to share it with friends and lighten the load I was carrying, or be a "man" and fare through my troubles on my own. Most people around me didn't have any idea of what I was going through, which I think helped cause they behaved normally. Even blogging helped a bit.

For all the trouble I went through, there were some positives to come out of it too. For two days when I was really low, I wasn’t in the best of moods. The people who work under my supervision regularly miss deadlines, but realizing I was in a bad mood we made really good progress. Perhaps I should try being stern more often :P. I lost appetite and lost like a kilo and a half in a single week :). Then I returned to blogging after a long time, cause didn't have anything better to do, when I would regularly wake up before the alarm clock rang (can you believe that :D). And I have also started writing this article that I had been planning for a long time. Hopefully if I wake up early again tomorrow, will try to completely knock it down.

I did share my troubles with a friend, which helped. In the end just about an hour ago when I was returning home from work, I was like enough is enough. One can't just keep mourning all his life. Shit happens and one's gotta move on. Now I am determined not to slip into that pit of mourning ever again, at least not over the recent event :D

Let reason prevail

2007-12-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

I know my recent posts have been a bit on the gloomy side but I guess once I take this break, a trip to India to attend this conflict transformation workshop in Delhi, hopefully followed by a week in Mumbai with friends, I should hopefully get better.

As I mentioned in my comment to Shobha to an earlier post, the next stage in a skeptics struggle with personal loss is the onset of these constant transitions from a state of self control when reason reins supreme to a state of weakness when emotions get the better of him. When ones in control, one feels its not difficult, sure I can overcome it in time. And yet there are moments of weakness when you grieve over your loss, even if you know theres almost nothing you can do to undo it. You wonder if this weaker side is really you.

The biggest dilemma of course is whether to share it and lighten your burden. And you are caught between whether to stay resolute and fight it out yourself, or share it with your friends and lighten yourself. Don't know if its chauvinism, an eastern up-bringing or just your nature that keeps you from sharing it with friends, who are already mad at you for not letting them know whats troubling you. And you argue with yourself, whether your friends have a right to know cause they feel alienated cause they have been sharing all their ups and downs in life with you and you refuse to spit your troubles out.

Theres this other funny aspect to the situation too. You think maybe by keeping it all to yourself, ppl around you not realizing what you are going through, just keeps them normal instead of unusually sympathetic. You hope that this normal behavior will perhaps be better to get back and be yourself.

Funny state and all one can do is hope for reason to prevail soon to get you back to normal :)

And how well do you know yourself?

2007-11-29T18:54:00.000-08:00

There is always an assumption that an individual knows himself best. It seems such an inherent truth that the thought never even consciously enters one’s mind. And yet there are times when unexpected circumstances surprise you and you wonder at yourself, have I always been like this?

Take for instance blogging at 7:00 in the morning. As it is waking up just in time to be at work by 9 is a struggle. Keep on snoozing the 7:30 alarm clock till I know that if I don’t wake up now, there is no way in the world I would be at work on time ( not really required cause I am usually the first ones to arrive and amongst the last to leave in my department, but I like that kind of discipline). And here I am bathed, dressed completely ready at 7:00 waiting for a saner hour to return to work. And just as I am writing this I realize maybe that’s cause I want work to distract me of the other thoughts going on in my mind, thoughts I am struggling to get out of my system.

I was always under the illusion that reason would see me through all circumstances and yet now I realize that there are times when emotions do get the better of me. Even when I have reason sound enough to accept what has happened, emotions refuse to give in and accept it for good. And I am left wondering, will reason always be my liberator? I still haven’t lost faith in reason (having little else that I truly believe in), but am waiting for the time when reason will completely prevail and get the better of my emotions and liberate me.

Skeptics and disappointments in life

2007-11-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

I know am returning after ages but somehow had lost the purpose of blogging altogether. Plus I believe one should blog only when ones got something to say. Well guess had a few interesting thoughts in my mind today and thought would pen them down. Woke up early in the morning anyways, and couldn't sleep again, so thought would blog instead :P

A recent event in my life highlighted yet another role of religion in an individual's life, i.e. the satisfaction/distraction it provides in times of a personal loss or emotional distress. When one loses loved ones, no matter how reasonable one is, if the loss catches you unprepared, it is emotion that gets hold of you first and doesn't let reason prevail, not for a while at least. And if you can't share your grief with anyone else, it gets worse. That's where you realize the support system that religion provides, the easy way out, where you find solace in the belief that everything happening is by design and someone up there is making it all happen with your best interests in mind. But for skeptics theres no such solace on sleepless nights no prayers/incantations to resort to, anything at all to distract you, it really gets tough. Reason eventually starts the remedying process, telling you that life should go on, for disappointments that dont kill you, only make you stronger :).

Important lesson learned, skeptics/agnostics should have really understanding partners or at any rate excellent friends around them, to see them through the lows in their life. Though theres another glitch too, what if one's a bit self contained and doesn't want to share the loss with even the closest friends.

Don't know if the above babble makes any sense to anyone else, or it just comes across as incoherent babble, but then the blog is titled rambler's reflections :P. Anyways cause this blog is as much of a diary to me as a blog, doesn't really matter if its not intelligible to the rest of the world. Though I have a feeling at least some people would be able to relate to it, would love to hear their views on this.

People please use the sidewalk

2006-05-28T02:31:00.000-07:00

Since I started driving about two years ago, I realized what an utter waste sidewalks are in my city. They gobble up about a quarter of the road's width, and the pedestrians simply do not use it. At rush times they take up another quarter, leaving motorists a twisted maze to find their way through.

True many of the pavements in the city have been gobbled up by hawkers and shop keepers, but it is so annoying to see, that people simply do not use them even when they are empty. Take my lane for example; fortunately the sidewalks have yet not been taken up by any hawkers. A good thousand people use it in less than an hour to reach jamat khana (our mosques) at prayer times. But it is so damn annoying to see that no one uses the pavements, everyone walks on the roads, hardly leaving enough space for one vehicle to pass through. I wonder if this is the predicament outside Karachi too.

Was wondering where is one supposed to be disciplined in road manners? Is it the school, the family, or what? Am actually thinking of somehow addressing the issue in at least my community. The problem is, if people understood, wouldn’t they be doing t already? Or is it that they yet not realize?

The Fate Equation

2006-05-28T02:24:00.000-07:00

Back again from hibernation, though hardly the season to hibernate. The temperature's been rising for a while, though its worse in other parts of the country. I guess moderate climate is one of the most underrated benefits of living in coastal towns.

Though debate between destiny and free will has been there for ages, a new perspective of looking at it struck me a couple of months ago. Had been meaning to think this one through properly, but this one requires real thought and the grey cells weren’t quite up for the exercise J

The idea involves an attempt at mathematical modeling of fate. Every individual is part of the system, as is all existence (for simplicity sake lets restrict ourselves to humans at this stage). 'Fate', 'fortune' whatever one may call it, is a complex mathematical function or formula; in which all individuals are variables. Each variable has a different bearing; as in they may not all necessarily have the same effect over their entire ranges. Thus the reality which I experience is a function of my actions as well as those of others. The degree of influence on my reality by other individual actions would depend upon their proximity to me and my circumstances (call this proximity the closeness of relationship and interaction); as well as the general reality sequence that has been going on. These could be both personal and on a macro level. Say on a personal level I am going through a crisis; then the actions of maybe different set of individuals would have a greater bearing on my reality than those who normally would have an effect when my life is going perfect. Similarly on a macro level say if the economy is going through a recession or there is a war or a natural catastrophe, then a different set of individuals would affect my life in a different way (say maybe the relief worker who evacuates me out; or the politician whose particular action in that hour of crisis changes all our lives).

In essence what I have attempted above is to try and hint at the possibility of mathematically modeling 'fate' in terms of mathematical functions; the dependent and the independent variables; the domain and ranges. But this one requires proper thought and refinement and research.

Origins of Polytheism- A hypothesis

2006-04-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

Had been thinking of blogging for some days now, especially with things not going too good @ work, was planning to write about it, but then didn’t get around to do it.

A strike had been called today which paralyzed the entire city. The unplanned holiday gave me a chance to catch up with studies and some reading. The past few days I have been going through an autobiography titled "The Memoirs of Aga Khan". Started reading a chapter called "The Islamic Concept and my role as Imam". The author presents an interesting perspective saying that the origins of man's religious aspirations are to be found in science. As often happens, the reading itself lead to a chain of thoughts. Reading further, I realized that the author presented ideas of divinity similar to the ones that I had come up with in one of my first posts titled, ""

The thought process led to a hypothesis on the origins of polytheism. If we are to accept that religion like science was an attempt to make sense out of the natural phenomenon, then one reason for the multitude of deities could perhaps be the civilization structure itself. I guess it’s fair to assume that organized religion must have been born after the birth of civilization. Because the societal structure was such that there was a specialization of roles, the farmer, the blacksmith, the soldier, the priest each practicing his trade, so must the deities. As the blacksmith didn’t double as a priest, so the concept of multitasking was a bit absent/rare. The natural phenomenon then too must be controlled by multiple caretakers, Poseidon in charge of the sea and Thor’s hammer responsible for lightning. And just like the hierarchy in society where one practicing a perceived superior trade had more power than others, so a hierarchy in the deity kingdom seemed natural. And just like the chieftain/ king in every society, a chief God Zeus/Jupiter, in charge of everyone else.

Like most of my ideas, this too seems so intuitively simple, that I am sure someone must have stumbled upon it earlier. The only way to find out, is to talk about it and that’s what I just did. Anyways the important thing perhaps is to keep exercising the upper chambers, something really difficult to find time for these days.

Live every moment to the fullest….

2006-03-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

Rabia called and asked me to tell Boss (Jawwad) that Leyuilyn had been hit by a speeding water tanker 2 hrs ago and had died on his way to the hospital. Phew, even though I had just met him once or twice, it was a difficult take.

Rabia is a former collegue. Jawwad had taught them a course in their undergrad. He had come to meet Jawwad and Rabia once or twice at the office. The guy was returning after an interview when his car was hit by a speeding water tanker.

I am supposed to ship the next release to my client on Saturday, so had to return to work, and didn’t think about it till I was on my way back. Was thinking, of Leyuilyn, his plans for life and his ambitions. Just thought if I was run over now, would I be satisfied with life? A fairly tough question, no easy answers.

I must say that I have lived a very fulfilling life so far. Have had ups and downs, but no major grievances yet, given a choice, would like to be myself, than anyone else, but certainly lots more to achieve. The worst fear is not death itself, but say, if you were forced into a situation of utter helplessness, maybe a coma or paralysis or a condition where you loose the ability to communicate or worse still to reason. Also tried to imagine what it would mean for people around you. Mom would be a total wreck. What about friends? A Noorali who dosent talk, wouldn’t be like Noorali, would he?

Fairly depressing thoughts, but two important takeaways

First: as the wise would say, live each and every moment of your life, as if it were the last.
Second: Try not to defer expressing your feelings, for tomorrow is a stranger you cant count on turning up :D

Take off your shoes to see how the hot earth hurts the soles…..

2006-03-16T05:14:00.000-08:00

What do you do when a boy aged 6 and a girl around 4 come bare footed and ask for money for shoes, when you are trying to rush back to office? In most third world countries beggary is an organized industry. But you are bound to be moved when you see this sight.

Had just got done with the client and walked back to my car, was waiting for the charged parking attendant to get my keys, when the incident occurred. It was almost 3 in the afternoon and pretty hot. The only thing that stopped me from giving in, was how well rehearsed the two kids sounded. The language they were using sounded just too strong emotionally for their years. Another thing that gave them away was, young as they were; they would get easily distracted, but would soon return to a delivery that sounded almost like a well rehearsed jingle.

It’s been a year since I first read Ayn rand’s work. She seriously dented my socialist mind set with her no-nonsense rational arguments. Even though she is a radical in her own right, but an intellectual radical at that. Reading her hasn’t wiped compassion out of my feelings. But somehow with beggary as institutionalized around you as it is, you can somehow feel the difference between the genuine cases.

The first week I returned after spending a day with my Indian friends in Quetta, and experiencing the first snow fall, I encountered something that I felt was a genuine case. I was returning around 10 after my MBA classes when, I noticed a woman in her sixties with a small kid closely huddled, on the pavement trying to draw the attention of the few cars that passed by. At first I too just drove past. But something about them stopped me. I stopped my car and walked back to them, took sufficient money out of my wallet for a decent meal for them, handed it to the lady, and was walking away, when the lady stopped me. She said something to the effect of ‘Son, you seem a God fearing person, please help us, I need food for the kids.’ I had given her sufficient money for a meal or two, and was almost beginning to get a bit angry, when she said, ‘Son, you have provided for the food, but I and my granddaughters have nowhere to go. Its really cold, and I have no warm clothing for them. Please do something for them.’ That’s when I noticed that the other bundle in her lap was a girl of 2 years or so. I also realized that shelter from cold was a bigger priority for her than food. I walked away telling her I would see what I could do, not knowing what I would do.

Anyways got home. Asked mom if we could spare any warm clothing for young kids. Fortunately just a week ago, my sis had taken out some old sweaters and other clothing that did not fit my niece any longer. I took back the warm clothing, a warm shawl, some food back to her. I gave them to her along with some more money. But still wasn’t at ease. The reason was that I had provided for them today, but what about the day after.

Such experiences can be very powerful, as they stir you, and make you think. You feel that you need to do something, play your part. That’s when Ayn Rand’s arguments hit back. Though I largely agree with most of her arguments, the only thing that she dosent clearly address, is the different chances that the fortunate get in life. True not all make most of the chances they get, and on the opposite end are people who rise from nothing, but this issue certainly needs to be to be taken into account. The fact that I never had to worry about providing slippers for burning feet as a six year old is surely one of the reasons I have achieved whatever I have.

Bahrain Day # 5

2006-03-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

The exhibition finally ended today. I leave tomorrow in the afternoon. Went to the mall to get some chocolates and other stuff for my place. Couldn’t find anything interesting, so just got back with chocolates.

Five of us went out for dinner. Then we had a loooong chat in the lobby, as Yousuf Jan (CEO of MIXIT) told us stories about his struggle in early life and then the famed Mumbai Don Dawood Ibrahim. Dawood apparently lives in Karachi now and Yousuf knew one of his former lieutenants. Don’t know how much of it was true, but we had a good time J.

Done with the gossip around 1:30 a.m. I showed Emraan, shehzad and PSEB guy my rooms; and they were really baffled. Their rooms were comfortable too, but almost 1/3rd the size of mine. Emraan took a couple of pics of the room, hope he sends these and the others he has taken, I really regret not havin brought a camera.

Bahrain Day #4:

2006-03-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

15/02/2006

Today was perhaps the best day or rather evening since I have come here. Instead of going out with boss and manager to the mall for shopping, I joined the other exhibitors from Pakistan and we went out to explore the city a bit. It was 13 of us, and we went to Bab-al-Bahrain (Gate of Bahrain). We explored the bazzars with narrow lanes, most of them being run by desis. The place seemed flooded with Chinese goods. But it was interesting to walk through the narrow lanes. I was told the majority of the Muslim population in Bahrain was Twelvers. As it was Muharram, we came across this mosque with huge paintings depicting Karbala probably placed for the ashura. These were very vivid pictures, something that I have seen in churches, but never in mosques, even though I have many ‘twelver’ friends. Different traditions I guess. It’s a pity I didn’t have a camera to capture those images.

We had dinner at a road side eatery. This is the best food I have had for quite a while. The Bar-B-Q was done perfectly. Even the daal tasted lovely. Am actually planning to go back to the place again tomorrow for dinner J

Imran was insisting that we check out the night life. But boss and manager are gonno be leaving today around 11:30. Plus I really didn’t feel like going out with him, is a bit weird. Lets see.

While we were chatting in the lobby, S__ brought out a cake, that her husband had sent, thats when I remembered it was the 14th of Feb.

Bahrain Day #3

2006-03-16T05:03:00.000-08:00

14/02/2006

Yesterday was a long day. It wasn’t actually a client, but an acquaintance of boss from around here. He had lots of connections, and introduced us to a number of people. Also turned out to be a-soon-to-be-relative of boss. Took us to his place, where we chatted for like 90 minutes. I was so tired, was almost dozing and the host interpreted my lack of interaction as my shyness. Shy, hehehehehe. People who know me, would call me anything but shy. And just when I thought we were getting done, the host insisted on showing us around. It came as a mixed feeling. For one, I was really looking forward to see the real city, beyond the main streets and malls. However it was a bit of a disappointment. We did see some of the mansions of the sheikhs, but I would have preferred going to some old bazzars, or some place to really experience the place. We went to this Leabonese restaurant, but I was too tired to enjoy the food.

The place had a good ambience, but I was literally dropping by that time. Sleep’s not a problem with me, if I am with friends. But we had been talking business all day at the exhibition and were expected to do the same for another 3 days. So would have been nice to rest a bit.

Bahrain Day #2

2006-03-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

13/02/2006

End of a tiring day, no not quite the end J, got to be leaving for a dinner with a potential client in 15 minutes. The first day at the exhibition was interesting but tiring. It was great we had completed setting up the stall yesterday so, didn’t have to bend and stretch and hammer in a jacket.

Hmmm, Bahrain is a nice little place. Everything seems very well structured. The rulers realized quite early that Oil wouldn’t last a long time, and that diversification was essential to survival. It is already a hub for financial activities in the region, trying to act as a bridge between London and New York. Boss seems keen to establish an office in Bahrain, if we can get some business in the region. Was just thinking of what it would be like, if I were asked to take charge here? But soon realized that it did not have much to offer apart from the clean, structured environment. As in, yes there is a night life of sorts, but don’t know, I wouldn’t last long in this place. The most important thing for me is to be in touch with friends; to occasionally take time out and go out with them.

Then was thinking of the opportunity of goin to a new place, all alone. That’s when you get a chance not only to really experience the place but also to make new friends. It also gives you time for reflection and to get to know yourself better.

Bahrain Day #1

2006-03-16T04:48:00.000-08:00

12/02/2006

O boy, these rooms are huge :D

The first surprise Bahrain had to offer was the pleasant climate. Karachi had been in the 30s, and was a real surprise to experience the under 20 temperature of Manama, the capital city.

The airport did seem a bit small, but then Bahrain was no Dubai. The driver of “Elite Suites” happened to be from Karachi, fairly close to the place where I live. He gave me the first informal tour of Manama as we drove to Elite Suites.

As we had referred some other exhibitors to the suites, our rooms were upgraded to Diamond suites. There is a huge lounge attached to the bedroom, two 30 inch flatrons, a dvd, a sound system, a mini kitchen complete with utensils, microwave, sandwich maker, toaster, electric kettle, you name it. I was thinking, what am I doing all alone in these huge rooms :D? I mean I have stayed at the Sheraton, and Holiday Inn, but this place had a completely different ambience. Whats more, my corner room, has an unsecured wi-fi signal from a near by network too J. The only disappointment is that the pool is undergoing renovation. It is a pity though that the tiring days would mean that I wouldn’t get to really enjoy the place. Got to leave for a networking dinner now, better get going.

To break or not to break......

2006-02-05T01:55:00.001-08:00

Hmmmm, shopping, I am not a shopping freak, more a explorer. Any ways, as I said earlier, at this point Thailand seems a bit difficult.

Its been a while since I last took a break.The last one was in August, when i went to Cambridge for a short course. But it seems to have been a long time ago. I think working and studying at the same time, does drain you out. when I was thinking of Business school, right after I completed a 4 year bachlors in Computer science, I thought, as long as I would be able to take a 10 day break every six months or so, I should be fine. The medicine seems to have worked, maybe cause the dosage was a bit extravagant :) But I really look forward to a time, when I wouldnt have to go for three hours of lectures after an honest day's work. Much more, I miss the activities that I would have normally been part of, had it not been for the evening school. But half way through, should hopefully be done by the summer of 2007.

I will probably be going to India in the second half of this year, how things are gonno work out, dont know yet. Ideally would like to spend diwali with my friends in Mumbai, but that would be in the middle of a semester, so dont know how am i gonno manage it. Would also like to go on a short trip with these people, exploring some part of that exotic country, maybe even my parents hometown of Kathiawar. But alas travel restrictions as well as the limited time available wouldnt let me do all I did like.

India seems to be a bit far away. Looking forward to a break somewhere in the next couple of months too. dont know how its gonno happen though. Any bright ideas on how one relaxes when facing a tough routine?

Rambler's reflections it is......

2006-02-03T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm, quite a few things happening, now where to begin ....

Yesterday had a marketing management Exam. This teacher is a really interesting fellow. Even though I dont agree with everything he says, but at least his class offers some challenge, some invitation to think creatively, though not enough debate to my liking. In one of the very first classes i asked him, if he thought marketing was more a science than art. Of course it was a leading question, cause I have felt through numerous classes, that teachers tend to treat creative stuff as sciences too. If things had been so structured and predictable, as a scientific approach would assume, wouldnt that be the end of creativity itself. He partially agreed with me, but made an interesting observation. The guy said, that it is much easier to teach science than art, so at least in an academic enviornment it is treated more as an exact science.

Anyways had an hourly yesterday for the same course. And the teacher asked us not to mention our names on our papers. Instead, we were to write either nick names or anything, that would just enable us to recognise our own copies once they were checked. Now that was pretty simple but havent heard of that before. On the one end, it curbed any individual bias, which i dont thin would have risen in the first case anyways. but it also prompted us to start on a creative foot, up front. I thought for a while. First thought of writing my pet name at home, which is shehzad or even shazu when i was a toddler. next thought about writing a 'relaisitic critic', which is how I have come to define myself for a while now. 'Energy' jumped in as a contender too. Finally decided on 'Rambler's Reflections', hehehehehe, yea the name of the blog itself. though felt for a minute if that would convey a notion of carelessness, cause that would be the first thing he would note. But then thought what the heck, had to get started with the paper itself too :D

The Thailand trip seems to be a bit dodgy now, will probably not materialise. Though Bahrain still seems on. I guess office is planning to cut down on the cost of travel, so lesser people going now. But cant be certain as they have sent the passports for the visa and also booked the tickets, so could go either way. Wouldnt be certain till its time to go. Lets see......

I am Back :D

2006-01-31T10:36:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, Now that the Id and password have come back to me, Plan to update this place a bit more often. I know, I know its gonno be really tough, will probably loose steam like many of my other plans soon; but then why should that stop me from doing it today. Lets take it one day at a time. I know will not come here every day, but say once a week or so wouldnt be too bad, would it.

This Blogoverse is a pretty strange realm too. In my school days, had thought of keeping a diary. Dont know whether it was my pathetic hand writing, or laziness, or a bit of both that I never bothered with one :D. But when you do look at some of your writing samples of an earlier age, really reminds you of what kind of a person you were then. Like this other day, I came across a note book from the fifth grade. The notebook had a few creative pieces that I had written then. Its really amazing to go through them. Then there was the debate in the eight grade. Despite a decent script, I had really blown that one.

With a diary, theres privacy of a very different kind. At this point not really sure, if I want to write for myself or for everyone. There sure is one thing, I dont know, but I have always known that one day I would be writing my biography. Guess this blog thing would be a great note book to turn to, cause have not made any notes anywhere else :)

So here we begin..............

The conflict within

2005-04-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

So

Its difficult for me to pinpoint when it all started. Lets just say, it may have been part of the questioning attitude that we adopted during our first encounter with philosophy. Add to that my interest in history. So I became acquainted with socialism and its crude derivative communism. As part of the questioning attitude, I questioned some of the basic things that I had grown to accept as an adult. In the initial stages, though I questioned, but never challenged. So to say never crossed the threshold. Perhaps I was afraid of the chaos that would ensue if I couldn’t find the right answers. Then one day during an informal talk with a scholar, I felt as if I was not alone. Perhaps this was more of a stage of life that many in quest of knowledge passed through. And how can I forget that reply from my mentor when I shared my dilemma with him. It was something to the effect of “CONGRATULATIONS sonny. You have come of age”,
Then came that email that someone gave to me. Oh but have I have yet not divulged the troubling issue. It was the need for religion, the Existence of God; and but perhaps the root of it all; what is God?
Before I had stumbled upon that last question, my inquiries always led me to a negative result. The theory that everything came into being as an accident seemed more and more plausible after each enquiry.
But it seemed painful to accept the hollowness of that, entire one had been vehemently advocating earlier. The first threat that I saw was a life outside the communal setup, a setup that I had learnt to cherish.
Could it be that all the prophets, sages and the wise men had tricked the masses into believing that there really was some God. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that man has always wanted to believe in the super natural. It seems that somehow by nature man loves the supernatural. Thus we may ridicule the Stone Age man regarding the forces of nature as God. Perhaps that was beyond his comprehension. But we in this 21st century are doing exactly the same. All that our Mind fails to answer or dare not question yet, is attributed to God.
So why religion? So far I have not been able to come up with a more plausible answer than the fact that it was a design to bring order in place. It was a necessity for civilization. And perhaps that’s the reason that organized religion perhaps grew once real civilizations were born. Before that, man not living together, was so fully occupied battling the forces of nature for survival that he could not spare the enterprise to formulate religion. This reminds me of the paradox I read somewhere, whether “God created man, or Man create God?”
But just today a few hours ago a thought crossed. It had actually been showing some glimpses earlier, but today perhaps it was able to manifest itself most clearly. God perhaps is no single entity in itself. It is actually the forces in nature. Quran says “Allah is the nur of the earth and the heavens”. My understanding of the Arabic word “Nur” here here is the spirit or essence of everything. So perhaps it is the name of all the forces in nature. Most scriptures would claim that he is just. Being just, would imply following an established rule of law. Yes nature does follow its established laws. Humans may not have completely understood its complete implications, but yes there are laws in nature, and nature does follow it religiously.

Local Culture and Why it is loosing ground.

2005-04-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

The following idea took its concrete shape in a discussion with my dear friend Nazish Bin Sadruddin on the 20 May, 2004. Nazish usually expresses his reservations about my ideas, which probes me to think even more clearly and come up with responses to his reservations. But on this occasion he did not have any reservations, which was surprising and encouraged me to pen down this idea, before I forgot it in the routines of everyday life. I don’t think I have heard or read this before, but the absolute simplicity (read common sense) of the argument leads me to think that most probably it might have been thought of and expressed before me (as this is what has been happening to me all my life). Anyways, enough of the introduction crap, lets get to the idea straight.

There are few civilizations in the world, which can boast, of 4000-5000 years of history behind them. This long history gives birth to a culture, which is essentially the best practices, drawn over the thousands of years of trial and error experiences. Techniques for survival as well as preparing accessories are developed crudely first, but then undergo improvement for thousands of years. These tend to be essentially local in nature, as they were developed in the local context, addressing the local needs, using the locally available resources. Some however might have been brought to other areas through travelers (traders, soldiers and slaves etc). But many might not have been feasible in the new environment because of the different conditions as well as the difference in the materials as well as the different need or motivation behind the technique. Many might have evolved to suit the local environment.

Take the example of the local farming methods or even crops. Or maybe the techniques for starting a fire, or desert survival (e.g. Apache Indians in South America). (One or two case studies here would provide greater insight).

We see today that the value of culture, especially in societies with a rich cultural history, is fast declining. I believe one of the major reasons for this debacle is that the advent of the global media and a powerful Western notion of “modernity” have quite drastically changed the local (especially perceived) conditions. There have been changes in the climatic and physical (e.g. preferred diet) conditions as well, which in the first place gave birth to this culture. Thus as the pre-conditions which begot the culture and were essential for its survival are gone, so does this seem to be an alien or archaic culture. It is just as a fresh water fish has some how been conditioned to live in a salty environment (the salt being the values and concepts originating from the other influencing cultures), now finds the fresh water environment alienating.

Take the example of the western imposed modern culture throughout the world. Today from Rome, to Athens, to Calcutta to Beijing to Tanzania to Lahore; Coca Cola and Mc Donalds are household names. The preferred daily apparel of most middle and upper middle class youth is jeans………

The question whether the past few generations undergoing this change (that is forgoing their culture in favor of a highly “modern” culture) in response to this change in the environment is a bane or a boon still remains to be answered. The proponents would argue that the local culture itself was an answer to the prevailing conditions, and as the prevailing environment has changed, the current generation is very well adapting to the new enviornment